2013 in a paragraph:
This year I celebrated my first year of marriage with my amazing husband, Tanner. I turned 23. I passed Geology- which was a HUGE miracle because my teacher was crazy. Went white water rafting for the first time. Watched my parents renew their vows at their 25th wedding anniversary. I threw Tanner a surprise party for his 21st. Tanner and I went camping, just the two of us for the first time. My heart broke while Black Forest was on fire and Manitou Springs was flooded. I had to make one of the toughest decisions of my life. I had to say goodbye to my beloved childhood dog, Stonewall. A gentleman to the end. Had my first New Year's Eve kiss. Watched Mariano Rivera pitch during his last season. Watched my parents get a small dog (That gets the "craziest thing that happened" in 2013 award). Lead VBS worship with my husband. Oh, and I started a blog ;)
This summer I got my Associate Degree. I was excited yet super embarrassed by this. I mean most people my age were getting their Bachelor degrees, being it's four years out of High School. Plus, I went to a High School that had duo-credit. I was taking college classes my Junior year. School has always been super hard on me with being sick, thinking I was stupid, not being able to comprehend things, or remember things. It was a huge decision for me to go to college in the first place because I thought I was too dumb to handle it. I actually ended up taking 3 semesters off of college because of my health... what we now know was Lyme Disease. I compared myself to everyone else and couldn't see the beauty of what God was doing. Now, I can call it a miracle that I even graduated from High School or got my Associate Degree. I mean, throughout all of my schooling I had bacteria eating at my brain and a disease trying to kill me. It's by God's grace that I made it as far as I did.
But the most amazing thing and why 2013 will go down as one of the best year's of my life is because God answered a cry of my heart. A cry that I have had almost all of my life. Being diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease is an answer to prayer. I am still amazed that we finally got here. To an answer and hope. After years and years of pain, questions, discouragement, confusion, doctors looking at my like I'm crazy... we are here. Through MRI, colonoscopy, endoscopy, ultrasounds, CT scan, injections, blood tests, nights in the ER, days in Urgent Care, specialists, weird diagnoses, medication after medication... we are here.
The journey has only begun toward complete healing and remission, but I am finally on that road. The past three months have been hell, but God's grace is enough. I've learned this past year that I love Jesus because of His character, that never changes. I think I used to love Jesus because of what He did, but then He didn't do what I wanted Him to do and my theology and foundation shook. But when I stand in who He is my foundation doesn't shake and His grace is enough.
2013 summarized a lot of fears, doubts, concerns, hopelessness, and confusion I've had for a while. But God makes beautiful things out of dust. And through all that 2013 symbolizes and summarizes I wouldn't trade this year for anything. And I think the best part is that God doesn't waste hurt. Seeing and being told what my story stirred in others makes it worth it.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Gen 50:20
"...I'm a prisoner of hope..." Zechariah 9:12
Energy Expelled: 3 hours to type. Just finished and am now getting a migraine. Drank a full 32 oz nalgene. And my joints are so stiff my knees won't straighten.
- "We underestimate God's desire to overcome every obstacle in our path"