On Monday, January 19th I saw my LLMD for my appointment. I told him how I still have some pain in my esophagus/chest/stomach/ribs/spin. I also told him about the little things like ringing in my ears, floaters, and headaches. We talked about how most of this was probably due to the mercury in my body and due to having low progesterone. I was pretty sure I still had some babesia floating around and would need more treatment for that booger.
I sat on the bed and he did some testing. As I was getting off the bed a little later he kinda gave me a smile. Still thinking nothing of it Dr.N and I walked back to his desk to discuss the results...
"Well, babesia isn't showing up. Actually, as a matter of fact, nothing is showing up. No bartonella, borrelia, yeast... So you're not on anything like that."
It took me a minute to catch up with what he just said. I looked at Tanner, who was blankly staring at Dr.N. I looked at mom who was tearing up and smiling brightly.
Dr.N continued with telling me I still have mercury and need to get that out (I start the detox tonight) and he informed me that the chest/esophagus pain is emotional and I need to see Dr.L for N.E.T.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but couldn't get out of my mouth. I left knowing I see him in two months, I'm doing a mercury detox and he hopes my next appointment is my last one.
I was able to ask why I still have some symptoms and he said sometimes it takes the body a bit to catch up. He told me to continue with the next protocol plan and we'll touch base in a couple months. Hoping those last bit of symptoms go away and are not permanent damage.
Many Lymie's get discouraged by this. Being told they are lyme-free but still experience some issues. Maybe I should feel this way, but I'm not. I'm over the moon that I beat Lyme's butt. If my Jesus can heal me of a "life or death" situation I'm sure a few symptoms aren't too big for Him.
So what's next? What a question that is. What's next? Well, I'm driving alone. I'm driving to Denver (1 1/2 hours) alone. I'm driving up the mountain alone. I went on a 4 day road trip with my husband and friends this past weekend. I started training for a half marathon. I took my phsyco cat to the vet alone. I got a tattoo. I started helping schedule teachers for Sunday School. Oh, and we're looking at moving out. After 16 months of living with my parents, having everything we own in storage, being codependent, and not really feeling married- we're moving out! Still looking for a place, but I know Jesus has the perfect place for us. I'm living life and thinking about planning a "Healed" party- not "remission". Dance and celebrate with those of you that fought this out with me.
I'm still resting in and focusing on and choosing God's peace. I'm learning to not wait for the next shoe to drop. I'm enjoying my new life. I'm learning who I am. Most of my life has been revolved around me and the sickness and my limitations and my health. But now I'm not defined by those things. So I'm figuring out what I like, who I am, what I don't like. I'm learning that no matter what happens I'm okay because God has me. My circumstances don't define if I'm okay or not. I'm okay no matter what my circumstance is- because God has me.
If I could give one piece of advice to people trying to overcome a disease/illness it would be to want to be healthy more than you are fearful of it. Don't focus on the next shoe to drop. Don't think of yourself as that sickness. Don't worry about the future and what could happen. Focus on the here and now. Live today for what it's worth. Focus on being healthy and the prophecy God has given you. You are not the disease. You are God's beloved child. Want it more than you're afraid of it.
I have the choice to worry if I have permanent damage, or if my ability to be pregnant is shot, or if I'll relapse, or if certain symptoms will ever go away. Sometimes I fail in this, but I try to always choose trust. Trusting that Abba has me, trusting that I'm safe in His hands. Trusting that He has me so I'm okay.
~ "Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them"