It was another "exciting" couple of weeks with my health. I broke out in terrible hives (from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet) for almost a week. My hiatal hernia started causing some serious issues. My lab work came back worrisome. And my childhood dog, Jackson, passed away.
My body doesn't really follow rules, but that's okay, because two can play that game ;)
I'm pretty sure the hives were an emotional response to all the anxiety I was facing. The morning my family dog of 14 and a half years had to go into surgery I woke up with a HUGE anxiety attack. Like intense. After I went back to sleep and woke up I noticed a rash forming on my legs. And after a couple hours it just got worse and worse. To the point where my face had disappeared, the inside of my ears were covered and even the palms of my hands were a mess. I was super attractive to say the least ;)
We waited it out a day and called my doctor. He proceeded to up some of my medications, take me off one and told me to wait it out. He also told me my white blood cell count was low.
I freaked out! What the heck does that even mean?
And the next day I started not being able to swallow anything. I was unable to even swallow my own spit without hyperventilating and crying from pain. I thought it was heartburn. So I drank baking soda water, took tums and pepto bismol, and was strict about my diet. Which none of that helped and I still had a sob fest everytime I swallowed.
Finally Monday morning (2 days later) it dawned on Tanner that a year and a half ago I had an upper endoscopy and was told I had a hiatal hernia. I was told this could never bother me or could pop up one day and I'd need surgery.
So I went to my chiropractor, Dr.M. He pulled my stomach down and I have not had any issues since! It's been a week of me enjoying swallowing and thanking my stomach for going back down.
After that I got a phone call from the place that sends me my IV meds and watchs my bloodwork. They were VERY concerned about my vanco levels (the IV abx I was on) and my low WBC. They said they both dropped way too low in a week. Dr.N called right after that and took me off everything. He also told me he needed to see me pronto.
Short Appointment Update:
I see Dr.N next in a week and a half instead of a month. He is switching me from vancomycin IV to rocephin IV. I'm off most oral abx and on a TON of herbal suppliments. My WBC is better. Not back to normal, but not as low. So yay! But I have to see him sooner than normal to make sure things only get better.
So what have I been learning? I think if I've learned anything from this season of life it's about people. I could write for days about this, and maybe I will write a post all about it soon... But...
Going through Lyme Disease treatment is so so lonely. I don't see many people and I don't go many places. I mean, I'm exhausted and I don't feel well. No ones fault. The people I was close with before treatment don't really talk to me much anymore. The friends and family I thought would walk through hell and back with me have deserted me or have become "bored" after a few months. And I don't blame those people. This is super boring. There have been more hopeless moments than hopeful moments. I cannot fake positive change, and because of that, I think it's too depressing and scary for those who don't understand my life to understand what has really happened, and is happening.
But you know what? The people that have stood by me and have walked this through with me, even on the most hopeless and boring days, mean the world to me. Those people have brought hope into dark days, spoken truth when all I heard was lies, and gotten angry at the enemy when I took more steps backwards than forwards. Those people have taught me how to fight for others and love others exactly where they are at. And they've shown me love and support and encouragment that has seriously gotten me this far. They've shown me the power in walking life out with people and the power in not giving up on them. I can't wait to dance with those people at my remission party! They are the ones that I know will be by my side through thick and thin. The rest of my life. Those people have gotten me this far and "thank you" could never be enough or show my true gratitude.
They've walked with me and stood with me and loved me at the darkest of nights. And I can't wait to dance with them at the break of dawn. They deserve to dance the finish line with me.
Energy Expelled: My hands hurt!!! Stupid arthritis. My feet and legs are screaming at me. I hate bartonella. And I just feel plain crappy. Ready for a movie and ice packs. Thank you, Tanner, for making this an easier read.
~ "It is during the worst times in your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they care for you."
~ "When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words."
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